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"If you've never held your own heart in your hand, you're luckier than me."

"What?"

"Nothing."

He kissed me hard, our teeth clanked together. I pulled away and laughed. He kissed me harder. 

One of his hands on the back of my neck, his other hand spreading my knees apart. 

I thought about how much I would have wanted this 5 years ago. 

"Hey, I think I'm going to vomit."

In the restroom I made convincing regurgitation sounds. I sat in the bathtub. And waited. 

By the time I came out he was asleep. I curled up next to him, pretended we had come home from a long day at work. I grabbed one of his arms and draped it over my waist. I pressed my head against his chest and thought about soap.