Reality is a bother.

I woke up 37 minutes before my alarm was scheduled to go off. Not enough time to go back to sleep, but I didn't want to get up. I was awake, but I didn't get out of bed. I raged against my alarm clock, I pouted, I squirmed. I did not masturbate, but I thought about it briefly. I got out of bed and had to find clothes to wear, I should have ironed, but I hate ironing. I got into the shower, it was cold and I became completely awake. I hate washing my hair. I wish someone would wash my hair for me, not even in a sexual way, just in a happy helpful way. I didn't get soap in my eye but I put my shampoo in after I put my face wash on. I usually shampoo before I put my face wash on. After rinsing and washing body and hair I decided to try and masturbate in the shower, like the way they do in movies. I was naked and wet, but I didn't feel sexy at all, I felt tired and silly. I even tried to talk dirty to myself, using funny voices and I ended up having a conversation with myself about the pitfalls of direct realism.